Should you hug it out during a resignation?

This is mostly a rhetorical question, but I am going somewhere with today's blog topic.  You'll just have to trust me as you continue to read my post and ponder the question......

I tried to find the most awkward "work-related" hug picture I could, and this one really took the cake.  But somewhat relates to the inspiration for my thoughts today.  I had a candidate resign last week, and her boss hugged her and wished her well with the new position.  Three things came to mind right away - she must have really been loved and respected by her colleagues, she handled the resignation process well, and lastly she built lasting, impactful relationships at the office.

Let's explore each of these ideas a little further.  First of all, being loved and respected by your peers should always be a goal.  I'm not saying you have to be friends with everyone, and that idea could be its own blog topic in the future - how to separate personal from work.  Instead I am suggesting that to be loved and respected you had to have a good work ethic, a good attitude, or quite possibly both.  The idea of being missed when you leave a job should be celebrated.  I remember when I left my first job almost 20 years ago our department bought a cake, made a memory board, and wished the employee leaving nothing but the best.  That practice changed, however, when one employee left who wasn't really going to be missed.  No hugs, no cake, no fanfare.  Not so subtle message, but I'm sure it was heard loud and clear.

Secondly, handling the resignation process well is a lost art.  Far too often candidates are anxious and nervous to get through a resignation and end up regretting something they say or do.  Or possibly react to something negative that is said by a boss or Human Resources contact.  The best way to avoid that from happening is to prepare accordingly.  Think ahead of time of any possible landmines or turns in the conversation that would lead down a bad path.  And in the worst case scenario that it does happen, but sure to take the high road and not react out of anger, malice, or mistrust.  You might feel good for about five minutes, but then you will regret your actions for the long term.

The last point is the most difficult as you can't go back in time if you haven't already built these impactful relationships.  Even if you don't have this kind of relationship with your boss or someone in management, hopefully you have built it with your colleagues and those you work with closely on a daily basis.  And while you may not always get a chance to tell those people goodbye, it is okay to try and close those doors gently.  Mainly because you never know when paths may cross again.  I can't tell you how many times people have left Company A for Company B, only to have one of their former colleagues join them at the new company.  For that very reason it is important to remember those relationships during the resignation process.

So should you really be aiming for a hug when you resign?  I think by now you know the easy answer is no.  But if it is a natural result, I would argue you've done all three things well that I talked about today.  I can guarantee as well that it won't be as awkward as the picture depicted above.