This photo could also go hand in hand with my blog last week titled "You said what?!?". For those of you that did not watch the Ryder Cup, this was a picture from the press conference after the American team was defeated with ease. Phil was answering a question about what went wrong over the weekend and how they could do things differently. With Tom Watson (this year's captain) on the other end of the table, separated by only a few other players, Phil basically outlined everything that he felt Tom did wrong in putting together foursomes and strategy for the competition.
The thing is that much of what he said was pretty good and behind closed doors would likely make sense to everyone on the American team. The bad news is that instead it seemed like Phil was throwing Tom under the bus on national television for some decisions he didn't agree with. And today the Twitterverse is filled with opinions and funny quotes about what might have been going through the other players' minds in the extremely tense air of the press conference.
So how does this relate to the resignation process? In so many ways that I will actually have a hard time whittling it down to a couple of relevant points. First of all, airing grievances in public is seldom a good idea. If you had a bad experience with a boss or colleague, lashing out at them during the resignation process is not going to gain you much, if anything. I even read another blog recently that recommended not even saying anything to HR in the "confidential" exit interview. Anything you say may make you feel good for about ten minutes, and then there is a good chance you will regret it from there on out.
Secondly, be sure to take the emotion out of the resignation. Regardless of whether or not what Phil said is factually correct, to me he said it in the heat of the moment after losing an intense competition. And getting pretty badly beat as the end result. I'm sure there are a few of his teammates that would probably have liked to see a few decisions go a different direction. But they didn't. The media were looking for an emotional reaction, and they sure got one. Similarly, if your employer (now ex-employer for all practical purposes) is looking to dig for dirt, make absolutely certain what you share is factual and devoid of emotion as much as possible.
Thirdly, make it short and sweet. Not only did Phil spend some time at the press conference talking about what happened at the Ryder Cup, he was caught coming off the 18th green and had some similar comments. Rather than let those air out and be disseminated, he decided to expand on them and it seemed like somewhere his P.R. team or agent was wishing he would stop talking. All Phil had to do was look to his left and see how uncomfortable Hunter was with his bulging eyes. It was the same all the way down with the other players' expressions. When resigning it has to be clear to everyone in the room that something wasn't right with the company or the job. Otherwise you wouldn't be having the discussion. So why focus on that? Instead focus on wishing everyone nothing but the best and emphasize the positive reasons you are looking forward to the move.
Lastly, always be a professional. In a somewhat unrelated moment just before this Phil Mickelson moment the broadcasters were asking a popular (and former) European golfer (Darren Clarke) about his thoughts on the Ryder Cup this year. They also asked him about his desire to sometime captain a future team. His answer was perfect. He said you have to be asked. It is not something you lobby for, ask for, or hint at. It is either going to happen because of what he has done or it is not. When you're leaving a job and they ask what you what could have been done differently to keep you as an employee, why answer that with all kinds of input they likely won't ever take to heart. Again, look to my third point to make it short and sweet. No need to say doubling your salary, doubling your staff, or doubling the size of your office would have been enticing. Because it is not happening. :-)
Have you ever had a resignation go badly because you were drawn into the emotion of the situation? Or been tempted to and held your tongue? I would love as always to hear your stories in the hope that it might help someone else who is about to resign and having questions or doubts.
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