How to resolve conflict in an interview

Have you ever been in an interview (on either side of the desk) and faced conflict?  Perhaps an uncomfortable conversation about something that happened in the past.  Perhaps it was a recent job change that is questioned.  Maybe even something in your personal life comes up in the course of the interview and presents an awkward moment.

Imagine the five people in this picture are just wrapping up an interview and trying to determine if the candidate is right for the job.  Likely a little extreme, but smaller battles are waged all the time when considering candidates for a critical role within the organization.  So how to move past the bottleneck of conflict and find a happy place?

The very first thing that must happen is admitting that on some level the conflict resolution will not make all parties happy.  Sometimes candidates will be hired that are not unanimous decisions.  Occasionally you may even get it wrong.  Having that idea present at the beginning of the journey to resolution will make the path much less frenetic.  The key to this concept working is having professional respect for everyone that has skin in the game for the hire.

You also have to embrace conflict as it occurs.  Most people have a tendency to avoid conflict altogether.  Try to take the conversation in another direction.  Think of a clever way to distract your audience.  That seldom works unless you are a master communicator or even better actor.  If there is a tough interview question or moment where things seem to go off the rails, face it head on.

Next you should try to take emotion out of the conversation.  Keep it simple, Sam.  Make sure your talking points are objective, direct, and based on fact.  I have seen too many employers make rash decisions (both good and bad) based on emotion alone, and that is dangerous.  Or candidates react too strongly to something that happens during the course of an interview or shortly thereafter.  This oftentimes happens when an employer promises to have feedback within a certain amount of time and that deadline is missed.  Candidates tend to over-react and get angry.  Once that happens you are already in a bad place and have to claw your way out of that disappointment.

Finally, you should learn to enjoy conflict on some level.  There is conflict in every job, every employer, and every team of professionals.  If you can't find a way early on to work through those conflicts, you are doomed to an unpleasant existence if and when you do get the job.  You must learn to work together to accomplish greater things, and it could very well start with the interview.  Getting through some tough questions or case studies could help show your true colors as a team player and valuable prospective employee.  Why wouldn't you want the hiring manager/team to know that?

The bottom line is that conflict exists.  How are you going to resolve that conflict in an interview WHEN it arises, not IF.......